A while back I posted about how I was not going to play Skyrim (a new computer game for my overall favorite series, apparently the best so far) until I earned enough money to buy a slick new computer/upgrade with proceeds from my book.
I was hoping to have it out and published about two months ago, but I feel it needs another solid going over, a glossary, and final cover. I still have not found a publisher, but I suppose in the digital age that is far less of an obstacle that it used to be.
Regardless, as any serious Gamer knows Diablo III came out about a week and a half ago. I picked up a copy, standing in line at the midnight opening of the local EB (I wanted to enjoy the excitement of lining up for a big release once more, hence I did not buy a digital copy) to do so. I was having a blast playing with friends up until recently…
I love the game, but frustrations over not having the book out boiled over and led me to delete my 40th level barbarian last night. The game is a bit laggy on my system (weak video card), which led to my poor, under-equipped character getting repeatedly hammered on the Belial boss-fight. A new video card would be an easy, reasonably cheap fix… but as I noted previously I promised myself I would not upgrade my comp until the book has made me enough money to pay for said upgrade.
This is all just a surface manifestation of my impatience to get the book finished to my satisfaction, my excitement that it is very close to release, and guilt over not being able to work on it 24/7 like I could when I was unemployed and did not need to wind down after my wage-slavery.
I’m also losing sleep over it.
These are all minor complaints, but I put them up just in case this insight is helpful to someone of similar psychology who is involved in a big creative project and seething with frustration over minor things without any obvious reason. Try to use the anxiety and frustration to your benefit instead of erasing your barbarian!